Lamentations 3:21-24 (ESV)
21 But this I call to mind,
and therefore I have hope:
22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
24 “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“therefore I will hope in him.”
This week I’ve been reminded of these truths. I had a day and a half of light-headedness; something I’ve experienced many times over the years. But this week it caught me off guard because it’s been SO long since I’ve dealt with it. Praise God! It’s been so long that I spent some time going through past calendars and journals to discover my last episode. September 13, 2017! I couldn’t believe it! I may have had quick twinges of light-headedness here and there, but nothing severe enough to record. And I’ve learned over the years to take very good notes about how I feel – that’s been so helpful.
I was stunned when I saw the date. Over a year! I’ve definitely been aware that I’ve felt good for a long stretch and have thanked the good Lord many, many times. But something about seeing the date and recognizing how many months it’s been has been such a humbling and overwhelming feeling. I immediately burst into tears and thanked the Lord for His faithfulness, for His mercy, and for answering my prayer. Am I healed completely of light-headedness? Probably not. And that’s ok! God is still good regardless of how I feel.
I started evaluating why I was feeling this way this week and have discovered that with the family home the last 5 1/2 days (a 4-day weekend for MLK Jr. Day, then a snow day, then a delayed start), I didn’t take time to truly rest like I had been. My body was signaling it’s need for more downtime. So, that’s what I did and I feel back to normal now. How thankful I am for this warning system!
This past year I’ve put several habits into place which have helped me feel so much better. Probably over a year ago I started taking really good vitamins. Pricey vitamins, but vitamins that make me feel a difference. So worth it. And, I’ve made time with Jesus and walking a daily priority. Since my last light-headed episode these are the only things I’ve changed. I truly believe they’ve helped.
But it’s so easy to slip into thoughts of “Look what I’VE done to change how I feel.” I think God gives us a brain to make wise choices with and to move forward in doing what we can to change our situation. But it’s all Him ultimately. God is the One who decides and purposes how my life will go and how I will feel. In His MERCY He’s allowed me to feel well over this past year. And for that I praise Him. It doesn’t mean I quit doing the things I’ve found to help, but I will remember in whom I trust.
Proverbs 16:9 (ESV)
9 The heart of man plans his way,
Dear James & Anna,
When life gets hard, when things aren’t going the way you planned, Look up! God is with you! He never left you! And He’s working out the events in your life for your good. Trust Him. Even when it’s difficult. He’s the only One in this life you can count on and He loves you so very much. This is my prayer for you as you grow: That you would know your heavenly Father more each day and trust Him with your whole being.
I love you so much!