Last year sometime Kenny and I decided we needed to be more intentional with spending time together as a family. We do lots and lots of things together, but wanted to add some structure to it now and again. So, we decided that Friday nights would be family nights. Either we’d do something at home together or go out and do an activity together.
Then, we had the idea to take the kids on dates individually. James and I would do something while Kenny and Anna do something else. That was a huge hit with the kids and they ask to do it all the time. We also switch and have Guys Night and Girls Night. And, Kenny and I try to have a date together every once in awhile.
In the end we decided that every Friday night we’ll switch between:
Family Night
Date Nights with the kids
Guys/Girls Night
Mom & Dad Date Night
Of course this doesn’t happen every month; some Friday nights we have other things going on, and sometimes it’s been a long week and we all just need to stay home and go to bed early. But we try to make this a loose guideline for the month so we have something to work towards. If we don’t have a plan, we rarely remember to make these kinds of things happen. And, after seeing the kids’s response and how much they look forward to and enjoy these nights, it’s all the more worth it to plan ahead and make it happen.
Family Night is often movie night, game night playing our favorite board games, mini-golf or glow-golf, bowling, watching a sporting event together and eating special food in front of the TV (our family enjoys watching the Broncos and Kenny has introduced us to Formula 1 which is a new favorite), or going for a walk or hike.
For dates with the kids we’ve taken them out to dinner or dessert, played mini-golf or glow-golf, batting cages, a visit to a book store to browse books and read together, ice cream out, manicures and pedicures at home, watch a movie, shopping at the mall, coffee or hot chocolate date, or Dart Wars (nerf gun fighting).
The options are endless and we enjoy brainstorming new things to do together. This plan can also get expensive very quickly if we’re always going out for food or an activity, so we’ve found many ways to enjoy an evening together at home. Last month for Guys and Girls Night, we all stayed home. Kenny and James borrowed a Star Wars movie to watch together and spent the evening in the living room; Anna and I did pedicures upstairs in our bedroom while watching a Curious George movie on Netflix on the laptop. The goal isn’t to spend lots of money or always be out and about. The goal is to spend quality time together and make more family memories.
I’ve mentioned here before that I’ve been reading The Life Giving Home by Sally & Sarah Clarkson. They bring up the idea of a family culture – each family has one; it defines who they are. “Culture helps people know who they are and provides a sense of identity and belonging…In a family, a strong culture allows each member to feel confident and comfortable, to understand how he or she interacts in every situation that comes along.”
And from Family Fragrance: Practical, Intentional Ways to fill your Home with the Aroma of Love by J.Otis & Gail Ledbetter (another favorite of mine), “We encourage our children by creating a family fragrance that draws them in and makes home a safe place to encounter obstacles. It is through the senses that an overpowering desire is created within the human soul to stay connected with home, or to separate and remove oneself…As our children grew, we wanted to continue to set the stage of home as a place they enjoyed and wanted to come to often.”
Who are the Knapps and what do we want our family culture to look like? We want James and Anna to feel safe at home – to always have a place to come to rest and work through the trials of life, no matter their age. Making these family nights a priority helps establish this in them and strengthens our bonds as a family. May God bless our efforts in creating this in our home.
I feel I should add – I don’t post all of this to say, ‘Hey, look what we’re doing!’, but rather for James and Anna to remember these times from their childhood and have a record. And, maybe it will spark an idea for someone reading to begin their own family night.
Do you have something similar in place in your family? What are some ideas that you’ve done and enjoyed together?
