Anna returned to school for two days last week, and that afternoon we were notified her class was quarantined again. Her fourth quarantine. This one came out of left field and we weren’t prepared for it. Needless to say, I wasn’t happy. Thankfully, I recieved a text from a friend (a parent who works at the school), warning me it was coming. I had a few hours to sort through my thoughts and emotions before picking the kids up that day. Anna took it in stride and in typical Anna fashion, gave me the biggest smile as she said, “We’re quarantined again, Mom.” Sweet girl, I can learn a lesson from you.
After recently posting that we’re rolling with the punches and having a good attitude, here I was, having a difficult time with it all. My mentor and friend, Shelly, said, “I wonder what God is trying to teach your family through all of this.” She couldn’t be more correct. I feel like God is continually teaching me to hold my plans loosely, to surrender any control I thought I had, and let Him have His way with our family and school year.
And underneath it all, God has exposed the root of the problem – the sin in my heart. Stick with me while I get to my point…
Years ago when I happily agreed to marry Kenny, I understood the role of wife and mother that I was saying ‘yes’ to. I knew that as our family grew, my time would not be my own – that I would sacrifice daily for the people in my home. I looked forward with anticipation to that time and was eager to do it. I’ve said it before: being a wife and mom is one of my greatest gifts and greatest challenges. Most days I am happy to serve my family.
As we navigated the infant and toddler years, there were days I wasn’t sure I would make it. But God continued to give grace and strength for each day. Now we are in the thick of the schooling years and I’ve gotten quite comfortable with this new routine of having time alone and time to work by myself most days. For several years I’ve enjoyed my quiet time, walking, chores, cooking, cleaning, group bible study, time with friends, you name it – all while the kids are in school. COVID has changed this dramatically and our kids are randomly home for weeks on end, with little warning.
The sin in my heart when we face another school quarantine is the simple fact that my child feels like an interruption to MY life. MY routine. MY plans. It pains me to admit this but it’s the truth and is what I’ve been wrestling with these past weeks. The truth of our heart is often ugly. So, I’ve been admitting, confessing, repenting, and asking God to change my heart and attitude.
My children are not an interruption. My time with them is one of THE most important things I’ve been asked to do in this life. Any other plans or work I have are secondary and should never take priority over Anna, James & Kenny. I know this – my head knows it and my heart knows it. But my fallen, sinful self still has a hard time being flexible at a moment’s notice.
These quarantine days with Anna are a joy. I’m more tired trying to keep up with her energy but she is a delight. I will never regret this time with her.
I’m learning to take advantage of the simple pleasures each day that refuel and refresh me. I’m not talking about the self-care movement our culture is all about – how each of us deserves to have our own time. Those ideas can get completely out of hand at the expense of one’s family. I’m talking about taking care of ourselves simply to survive and thrive in the demands and roles the Lord has given us. For example, when one child is home on quarantine, I get them set up with homework or chores and slip away for a walk, or a few moments with Jesus. I read scripture that will give me the perspective I need for the day ahead. I listen to the Daily Audio Bible while putting in laundry, then turn it off when I’m interacting with my kids again. When they’re in school, sometimes this means I head to school pick-up a little early and sit in the parking lot where the needs & distractions of the house are gone and I can reset before the final, busy hours of the day at home. I read for a few minutes, enjoy a mint or piece of gum, put on hand lotion, or close my eyes. That may sound trivial and insignifiant, but life truly is about the simple pleasures each day. We just have to have eyes to see them as that.
In this life we are all waiting for something. When we are young we wait to start school, wait till we can drive, wait to fall in love. As adults we wait to get married, to have a family, to land that perfect job, to retire. We are impatient people and are constantly waiting for the next big life stage to arrive. But it’s in the mundane, ordinary moments that shape our lives. May we each embrace these between moments and the unexpected moments. May we trust that God is on the throne, in control of every aspect of our lives, and is ordering them for our good. Oh Lord, may it be so! And may the days of school quarantines due to COVID end soon!
